Being loyal to yourself doesn't guarantee peace; it doesn't guarantee an anxiety-free existence. It does ensure that when anxiety and doubt show up, you will know lovingly and respectfully handle it.

I have noticed with myself and my clients there are lies we tell ourselves. We tell ourselves these lies with positive intent: get more done and avoid feeling anxious. But these lies are hurting us and keeping us from healing our anxiety.

At the root of high functioning, anxiety is the belief that you are broken and unworthy. You look outside yourself to know the right way to move forward. This constant turning away from ourselves to look for the answer perpetuates the message that we can’t trust ourselves.

We might have been shamed and belittled for being sensitive and feeling deeply, so we learned to hide those feelings, to attempt to stuff them down and pretend they don't exist.

Your Biggest Fan is that quiet voice inside of you. She is the voice of self-loyalty. The wise, kind voice of grace and understanding, reminding you that you aren't broken.

Understandably, we are anxious. These are anxious times. We have never experienced a pandemic: a shutdown of our schools, communities, and entertainment.

One of the keys to understanding how to deal with high functioning anxiety is understanding how it’s different from generalized anxiety or what most people think of as “regular” anxiety.

Fear. It is a common theme when it comes to any type of change. Fear of the unknown. Fear of failure. Fear of success. Fear of just making a fool of yourself.

When was the last time you did something for fun? Not because it would get you closer to your bigger goal, or because it would help someone, or because it made practical sense? When was the last time you did something just because it brought you joy?

People dealing with high functioning anxiety perceive the world as a continuous flow of deadlines to be met. As a result, there is a constant need to evaluate and re-evaluate, plan, check and re-check. Over and over.

For those who are longing for forced rest, what we are seeking is permission to rest.

I believed the goal of having good mental health was to feel good. To feel positive. It is a well-intentioned belief summed up in the statement that when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade.

The dark side of this loyalty, the shadow side of this devotion to others, is the exhaustion, the never-ending to-do list, the never feeling good enough, whole enough, satisfied enough. The Monger runs the show.

I know the joy from thinking that this resource, this tip, this idea will be the answer. I know the exhaustion that comes from always wanting to be better, to live the BIG DREAM, to figure it out, to KNOW yourself.

For me, a game-changer in quieting the Monger is listening to the voice of my Biggest Fan.

The thing about self-care is no one can tell you how you should engage in self-care. Self-care is not a one size fits all event.  It is a practice.  An act of truly engaging with yourself and getting real.

Soldiering on is the idea that life is full of pain and suffering. If you are experiencing any pain and suffering, you should suck it up and keep moving

There is a quote that says, "Expectations are premeditated resentments." I disagree with that quote--I think it should say, "Unspoken expectations are premeditated resentments." Looking forward to something can be the best part of the event.

I was always living for the weekend, for warmer weather, less stress, more relaxation. I was always chasing SOMETHING. Living for a time that wasn't whatever it was I was dealing with right now. Because THEN it would always be better.

We learn that we are so flawed and broken that the only way to achieve success is through beating ourselves up and being critical. Ironically, this self-loathing tends to make us less motivated and less successful, thus creating a self-fulfilling process.