It is less about changing myself and fixing my anxiety and more about listening to it. My over-functioning is a sign that my anxiety is high. But because over-functioning is an addiction and feels so good.

I have devoted my career to treating High Functioning Anxiety, because living with it is exhausting. Not just because the anxiety itself is exhausting but because the unhealthy coping methods we have learned to deal with it (throwing ourselves into work, being the responsible one, perfectionism, and people-pleasing) are so valued by society that we struggle in silence and shame.

I have different rules for myself. Other people might have to rest, but I can carry on and do more. I can always handle more. I can push myself hard enough that I might overcome that small annoying reality about being human.

We usually identify the coping skills as the problem, set better boundaries, be ok with imperfection, be less controlling. But when we take those coping skills away, we are just left with our anxiety.

Are you someone who feels like you’re living the same day over again? You may be dealing with symptoms of high functioning anxiety (HFA) which likely is feeding into your “stuck” feelings.

Asking for help is hard but sometimes there is joy in receiving.

Anxiety IS something you can quiet, treat or learn to live with, but it is NOT something you can heal forever. And this myth is dangerous.

I have been humbled to see Simone and Naomi disappointing people on the world stage because they needed something. That is mind-blowing.

The truth is we ALL have struggles with our mental health. And we all need to prioritize our mental health—not just when it is convenient or when it is really bad but as a daily practice.

The hidden part of High Functioning Anxiety, the secret shame, is one of its most challenging factors.

My High Functioning Anxiety wants to find a hack, a system, a guaranteed 5 step plan. A plan that I will want to do and will only take a few minutes, and BAMMO I will be fixed. And it just isn't realistic.

Yes, my first reaction to Meghan was mean, but that isn’t the end of the story. What is important is what happened next; by noticing my dismissive reaction, I created empathy for myself and Meghan.

Dating someone with high functioning anxiety isn’t always obvious. In fact, it may be a bit shocking when someone who seems to have it so together suddenly seems so not together.

Recently I have been OBSESSED with the Great British Baking Show on Netflix. No politics, no yelling, just amateur bakers who are competing in what they love. It is wonderfully relaxing.

What if we spent less time thinking we were broken. What if we accepted that we will feel outraged, worthless, overjoyed, and hopeless. That there is nothing wrong with us if we are full of messy feelings.

We tend to oscillate between being overly empathetic to the detriment of our own needs or becoming under-empathetic

Now, I know that a secret formula doesn't exist, and yet, with all my being, I want it to be a reality. I want an easy answer, a magic wand, a formula for happiness.

So no, you do not need the Monger to be a success. You need a Biggest Fan. That voice saying, let's stretch, let's see what's out there, let's get uncomfortable, and let's be kind to ourselves as we do it.

The only way to reduce our anxiety is to slowly, and I mean slowly, change our focus from the outside world to our inner world.