This is the challenge of HFA. It pushes us. It challenges us to push past our anxiety at the price of our self-loyalty, at the price of having fun.

With High Functioning Anxiety comes white-knuckling. When my anxiety gets high, white-knuckling becomes a go-to response—holding on for dear life, over-analyzing, looking at the situation from all angles.

When my Monger is critical, my first response is to engage with her, debate with her, justify, prove, and defend my actions rather than owning them. I convince myself that explaining the mistake keeps my perfect veneer in place.

Perfectionism and anxiety don’t mix well and can go hand in hand. The combination can be destructive and feel difficult to overcome.

Our Monger plays there behind the scenes telling us that everything will be ruined if we make a mistake (she is so dramatic!!). We can see this lie playing out in our behavior. It keeps us trapped in indecision and inaction.

Even so, mistakes are still hard. They get our Mongers fired up, they make us feel out of control, and they remind us we are human, which, although obvious, can be a hard thing to admit for those of us with High Functioning Anxiety.

The problem arises when the rules become rigid and unrelenting when we beat ourselves up for "doing it wrong," even though we created the rules in the first place!

Those of us with High Functioning Anxiety have very loud Mongers. That inner critic voice is all-powerful and frequently convinces us we have a lot of power too.

One of the coping skills for people with High Functioning Anxiety is to challenge themselves constantly. You may believe that as long as you stay busy, keep achieving, and constantly better yourself, then one day, you will be calm, relaxed, and content. Sound familiar?

The challenge with High Functioning Anxiety is how socially acceptable it is — there is a fine line between "normal stress and anxiety" and HFA.

Perfectionism causes us to feel tired, irritable, and dissatisfied because we constantly compare ourselves to an impossible standard. We are holding ourselves to something we just can't achieve, and we wonder why we are exhausted and snippy!

Often, the things we love most in others are the imperfections that make them unique; their silly laugh, ability to crack a joke at the most inappropriate times, how they look when they first wake up in the morning, etc.

Why do we procrastinate? Is it a lack of willpower? A lack of desire? Because we are weak and pathetic? Or is it something else?

Rationally we all know perfection doesn't exist. When we forget that perfection isn't possible, striving for perfection becomes unhealthy and downright debilitating.

We spend much of our life unconsciously, allowing our fears, shame, and doubt to plague us unnecessarily.

The Myth of Living Happier: I am living happier than I won't feel any pain, doubt, or insecurity. I will process loss and tragedy at superhuman speed, and I will always feel blissful and light.

Lately, I have been struggling with the same phrase over and over in my brain.  You have to 'do it right.'  Doing it right in my career, doing it right in my marriage, doing it right with my friends even doing it right when it comes to everyday life activities.

My dad is full of different pieces of advice, short sentences packed with wisdom. One of these wisdom phrases that we say a lot in my house is, "Why pay twice?".

This idea of being strong has caused many of us to live lives of quiet desperation. To "suck it up" rather than ask the question, "How can I do it differently?"

The other morning my nearest and dearest and I were chatting for my dog, Mocha. You know, how you give your dog a voice and have a full-on conversation with them, putting in what you assume they would be thinking.