When I have gathered the courage to share my story with someone, and I am met with a trite statement about being grateful and soldiering on, I want to punch something. Looking for support and not getting it is a punch to the gut and can send us down a rabbit hole of shame and anger.

Emotions get in the way of our productivity when we don’t give ourselves permission to acknowledge them, instead we get stuck over analyzing and judging the way we feel.

Emotions. We’ve all dealt with them. Sometimes we feel like we’re on top of the world, and sometimes we feel like we can’t get any lower. This is especially true for those that suffer from high functioning anxiety (HFA).

This week I ate too much sugar, didn’t acknowledge my feelings, didn’t work out, my anxiety was high, my Monger was loud, and my BFF was in full do-whatever-you-want mode.

Even as a high-functioning anxiety coach, I still struggle with the monster of comparison daily.  In short, I am a Comparison Addict.

One of my superpowers has always been sensing what people need and giving it to them. You may have heard this superpower as being an empath or a highly sensitive person. I call it having a High Empathy Radar. Frequently people with High Functioning Anxiety have a High Empathy Radar

I don’t have the answers for moving forward with our country that is divided, with systemic racism and bias so rampant it is impossible to ignore. But I do know we need to start owning; this is who we are. Because if we don’t, change cannot happen.

The world is complicated, and I certainly don't know how to fix it. I know it requires people to respect each other, challenge each other, talk to each other, and allow those feelings.

You aren't doing it wrong. You are human. Humans are complex. Humans are imperfect. Humans are messy.

Our old coping mechanisms of denial, repression, control and over-analyzation aren't cutting it. We HAVE to find a different way. We HAVE to figure out how to be gentle, gentle, gentle with ourselves.

Feelings are messy and uncontrollable, and if there are two things that those of us with HFA hate, it is messy and uncontrollable. We like to convince ourselves that we can control our feelings.

We have been steeped in a system of biases We swallow these messages every day, and we need to start owning them, getting uncomfortable, and making corrections.

Our Monger has trained us to think flaws are bad, that doing anything wrong is the worst thing. That leaves us with a lot of well-meaning, kind people who struggle to see their flaws for fear of retribution from their Monger.

The question I keep getting the most is, "Everyone keeps telling me to allow my feelings, but how am I supposed to do that when I have so many.”

The spirit of acknowledging your feelings is to make room for them and give yourself some kindness and grace around them. Rather than just labeling them so you can then hammer yourself, give yourself room to allow them.

I want to start a revolution, a Listening Revolution. It starts with a ban on unsolicited advice.

The myth of quick-change has derailed so many of my clients. The idea that they are doing it wrong, the change isn’t big enough or fast enough, or worse: they still have anxiety, so they MUST be doing it wrong.

A level ten reaction to a level two situation is common among those with High Functioning Anxiety. It is a human reaction to too much negative stimulation.