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He would talk about all the things he failed in his life. Seeing it in him broke my heart. Here was a man I adored. He was in his late 70s, strong, intelligent, resourceful, and kind. And yet, all he could talk about were his failures. My Dad's death brought me to my knees. It was a devastating time for me. He was a guiding force for me in so many ways, and with him no longer in my life, I felt lost. After he died, I decided a way to honor him was to figure out how to quiet the Monger's voice once and for all. Rather than just repeating the idea of self-acceptance and self-compassion, I needed to figure out a way to make that idea work for me. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60414f47e7bf1346cc567a66/1628173819017-YJVMPE2ZWZSU6MXBYCQU/Speaking%2Bpage%2BAbout%2Bpic.jpg My Story - Why I am so passionate about Quieting my Monger For much of my adult life, I lived a double life. At work and with friends, I was very social, happy, professional, and light-hearted. But as soon as the doors to my house closed and I was alone, I was consumed with self-doubt. I had an internal commentary constantly telling me how I could improve myself, what I was doing wrong, and how the outside world would find out if I wasn’t careful. I always felt like even in the privacy of my own home, cameras were watching me, and everyone would find out that I was a lazy, anti-social, obsessive-thinking freak. The challenge of this internal commentary was that the underlying message was if I were a better person, if I tried harder or somehow cracked the code, I wouldn’t be so miserable. Perfection was in my reach. I just needed to push harder. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60414f47e7bf1346cc567a66/1628174195047-JGCFV3JNHAOFOFHQYWUH/About+Page+3.jpg My Story - The Book Writing the Happier Approach was one way I could channel the all-consuming grief over my dad. I promised myself that if I were going to write a book, I would be 100% honest—no more pretending that something would work when it wasn’t working for me. I was going to own how hard self-acceptance was, how I didn’t understand what self-compassion means, and how both of those words were so overdone they had lost all meaning. I know this sounds hokey, and if I hadn’t experienced it myself, I wouldn’t believe it, but as I started writing the Happier Approach, it just flew out of me. The characters, the methodology just showed up. And amazingly, my Monger was quiet. I believe this is because in writing the book, in being radically honest, I was practicing self-loyalty. I wish I could say my Monger is gone, and I live a life free of self-doubt—but I would be lying. I can say, My Monger doesn’t hijack my day-to-day life as frequently or as long as she used to. Practicing self-loyalty and not running from my internal world is a game-changer. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60414f47e7bf1346cc567a66/1617218120994-W8ETC0QYDYCBAE51ZOWY/Official+Bio+About.jpg My Story - My Time In School I specialize in quieting self doubt, with over 20 years experience in counseling, studying and training in self doubt. I have a Bachelor of Arts in Psychology from Miami University and earned two Masters' Degrees in Higher Education and Community Counseling from the University of Dayton. I also completed my postgraduate training in Gestalt Therapy at the Gestalt Institute of Central Ohio and is a Certified Daring Way™ Facilitator, based on the research of Dr. Brené Brown I have written three books, most notably The Happier Approach: Be Kind to Yourself, Feel Happier, and Still Accomplish Your Goals. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60414f47e7bf1346cc567a66/1628279422695-3Q7BPFV86R4U9Q7VBWGZ/Podcast+Line+Drawing.jpg https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60414f47e7bf1346cc567a66/af491a17-b5d8-4875-8e45-cd70590d1649/Books+Line+Drawingtest.png https://www.nancyjanesmith.com/home daily 1.0 2026-01-05 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60414f47e7bf1346cc567a66/1628255811302-AZI3GXHV75JDL7GLHFJY/people+pleasing.jpg Home - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60414f47e7bf1346cc567a66/1628255769582-UNVIOK1E9ZIOM7MTC2KJ/insomnia.jpg Home - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60414f47e7bf1346cc567a66/1628255845658-OGGK5XM361CYF8RPCGUP/procrastination.jpg Home - 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Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60414f47e7bf1346cc567a66/1628529865044-VWT19AXMRHQPPQL7ZWPS/Validation.jpg Start Here - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60414f47e7bf1346cc567a66/1628529724906-CIW57ZENAA26FTXJQO5G/overthinking.jpg Start Here - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60414f47e7bf1346cc567a66/1628520525412-C2IITHUJSY02VDH40136/insomnia.jpg Start Here - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60414f47e7bf1346cc567a66/1628528288777-N2NRNTBNYN42GRJCQT51/people+pleasing.jpg Start Here - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60414f47e7bf1346cc567a66/1628279422695-3Q7BPFV86R4U9Q7VBWGZ/Podcast+Line+Drawing.jpg https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60414f47e7bf1346cc567a66/af491a17-b5d8-4875-8e45-cd70590d1649/Books+Line+Drawingtest.png https://www.nancyjanesmith.com/books daily 0.75 2024-06-27 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60414f47e7bf1346cc567a66/1615386296471-W156E4HCA9CS7Q5W2MAB/thisstuffishardcover.jpg https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60414f47e7bf1346cc567a66/1615386209841-8PI6FUM9GA9R36SKQQ2F/Front+Cover+FINAL.jpg https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60414f47e7bf1346cc567a66/1615386326389-JORX27DAOZXM7CT571N2/Book+Cover+Front+Design.jpg https://www.nancyjanesmith.com/juice-squeezed daily 0.75 2021-12-02 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60414f47e7bf1346cc567a66/1617216787677-P7SCGAJQ5FOEWZTLYA76/Juice+Squeezed+Book+Cover.jpg Juice Squeezed - Juice Squeezed: Lessons Learned from a Quest to Live Happier “I confess I am one who always looks at the fresh tasty juice and thinks, “YES! I want some of that – it is SO much better than the canned kind!” However, I fail to look at the cost (to myself and others) of standing in front of the sink squeezing oranges. So it has been a life lesson for me to ask myself, “What is the juice squeezed ratio here? Is it worth it to take the dream job, if that takes me away from my family and leaves my spouse basically a single parent? Am I looking at the whole situation here?” I am fascinated by the use of stories. The stories we tell ourselves, and the stories we tell each other. I believe stories play an invaluable role in life. Our stories define who we are, they help us express ourselves, and they give us a common ground to understand each other. Juice Squeezed is a collection of stories that first appeared on my blog at Live-Happier.com. Stories from my own life and others that illustrate the struggle and joy we have in living a life with passion, purpose, balance, and awareness. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60414f47e7bf1346cc567a66/1615827093912-YWNY1EALQ0HIF65S2IBP/amazon-logo_transparent.png Juice Squeezed https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60414f47e7bf1346cc567a66/1615827173791-Q862TPX0J7FJWG9OYR2S/Barnes-Noble-logo.png Juice Squeezed https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60414f47e7bf1346cc567a66/1615827048438-W7YQ55EI7647X1LUKXQ6/Amazon_Kindle_Logo.png Juice Squeezed https://www.nancyjanesmith.com/this-stuff-is-hard daily 0.75 2022-06-30 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60414f47e7bf1346cc567a66/1617216889736-PMVQMTAUAKF893XJ1C7R/thisstuffishardcover.jpg This Stuff Is Hard - This Stuff is Hard: Making Peace with Your Anxiety “Do you have a negative voice in the back of your head? Many of us fall prey to the belief that our anxiety helps us improve. On the surface, that critical voice seems to help by pointing out areas where we could be better. In “This Stuff Is Hard: Making Peace With Your Anxiety,” I tell you the truth: we’re being tricked. Anxiety does not help us. It is completely possible to self-analyze and improve our lives without spinning on endless negativity, without hurting ourselves, and without doubting ourselves. In five distinct chapters, I delve into each aspect of the important process of reframing our critical inner voices. Each chapter deals with building awareness of anxiety, recognizing inner critics, being present with your thoughts, and understanding the patterns that lead to anxiety. Learning to live without that negativity will help you build a foundation for peace and happiness in your life. Perfectionism is an impossible quest, but Living Happier can be done every day. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60414f47e7bf1346cc567a66/1615827093912-YWNY1EALQ0HIF65S2IBP/amazon-logo_transparent.png This Stuff Is Hard https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60414f47e7bf1346cc567a66/1615827173791-Q862TPX0J7FJWG9OYR2S/Barnes-Noble-logo.png This Stuff Is Hard https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60414f47e7bf1346cc567a66/1615827048438-W7YQ55EI7647X1LUKXQ6/Amazon_Kindle_Logo.png This Stuff Is Hard https://www.nancyjanesmith.com/the-happier-approach daily 0.75 2021-12-30 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60414f47e7bf1346cc567a66/1617215415159-O8BTQ67NE1RBSM4BJYHS/Happier+Approach+Cover.jpg The Happier Approach - You don’t need to stay in survival mode. All the experts say to practice gratitude, repeat mantras and think positive, and you do but it isn’t really helping. So you push down the feelings of exhaustion and negativity and sing the chorus of ‘so blessed’ and ‘everything Is wonderful’. But at the end of the day, you are just surviving. You just want to make it through the day without counting down the minutes until you can crawl into bed. After almost 20 years of working with people as a coach and counselor, I have come to realize that the #1 thing that prevents us from feeling happier is the negative voice in our head. Through humor and storytelling you will learn:: How to unhook the belief that being kind to yourself will make you soft and cut your competitive advantage. When your Monger has taken over and what to do next. Why your BFF can steer you in the wrong direction. How to unleash your Biggest Fan so you can make decisions for your life without shame, or guilt and be genuinely happier. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60414f47e7bf1346cc567a66/1617215823416-ATBV1G47QMRK9DBAHPX5/Monger_Color_2.jpg The Happier Approach https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60414f47e7bf1346cc567a66/1617216046283-W0PN2WFWR32MBI12IIB3/BFF_Color_2.jpg The Happier Approach https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60414f47e7bf1346cc567a66/1617216203441-9KKYPS68C2BW2CNHR4WK/BiggestFan_Color_2.jpg The Happier Approach https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60414f47e7bf1346cc567a66/1615827048438-W7YQ55EI7647X1LUKXQ6/Amazon_Kindle_Logo.png The Happier Approach https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60414f47e7bf1346cc567a66/1615827093912-YWNY1EALQ0HIF65S2IBP/amazon-logo_transparent.png The Happier Approach https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60414f47e7bf1346cc567a66/1615827173791-Q862TPX0J7FJWG9OYR2S/Barnes-Noble-logo.png The Happier Approach https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60414f47e7bf1346cc567a66/1615931943136-229CPXYEIZGZRQV48RWF/audible-logo.png The Happier Approach https://www.nancyjanesmith.com/speaking daily 0.75 2021-10-14 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60414f47e7bf1346cc567a66/1617221239061-QXK3AHL97HRC48KZ3RFO/Speaking%2Bpage%2BAbout%2Bpic.jpg Speaking - About Nancy Nancy has been speaking for almost 20 years for corporations and non-profits as both a keynote and workshop facilitator. She brings a light-hearted, down-to-earth style with lots of humor and practical strategies to make real change. Her belief is we know how to reduce stress; we just aren't doing it. Her goal is to help individuals bring more kindness into their lives so they can stress less. Nancy has two Masters' Degrees from the University of Dayton, one in Higher Education and one in Community Counseling. She is a Licensed Professional Counselor with eleven years in private practice and over 20 years working as a counselor/coach. She has written three books with tips, lessons, and stories on Living Happier The Happier Approach: Be Kind to Yourself, Feel Happier and Still Accomplish Your Goals, Living Happier. Juice Squeezed, Lessons Learned in a Quest to Live Happier and This Stuff is Hard, Making Peace with Your Anxiety, including working as a career counselor at Otterbein College and Capital University before getting her Masters in counseling. She is certified in both Myers-Briggs® and Strong Career Assessments® and is a certified Daring Way™ Facilitator based on the research of Dr. Brené Brown. https://www.nancyjanesmith.com/coach-in-your-pocket daily 0.75 2024-07-01 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60414f47e7bf1346cc567a66/1628279422695-3Q7BPFV86R4U9Q7VBWGZ/Podcast+Line+Drawing.jpg https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60414f47e7bf1346cc567a66/af491a17-b5d8-4875-8e45-cd70590d1649/Books+Line+Drawingtest.png https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60414f47e7bf1346cc567a66/1618333270864-3PE05CUGR74LW49TGZGW/CIYP%2BWoman%2Bon%2BPhone.jpg Coach in Your Pocket - Introducing Coach In Your Pocket Coach in Your Pocket is a revolutionary way of working with a coach and is perfectly designed for those with High Functioning Anxiety. This methodology allows you to reach out to me 24/7 via Voxer, a voice messaging app you download for free to your phone, and I will respond during my office hours, Monday through Friday, from 9am - 5pm Eastern Time. No more psyching yourself up for your coaching session or stressing about what you will talk about for an entire session. Now you can reach out to me on Voxer me daily (or as often as you like) to share when: you have wins and successes. your anxiety goes sky-high. your anxiety is at a low buzz. you are feeling restless and don’t know why. you want my feedback or encouragement. Imagine being able to reach a trusted, expert in High Functioning Anxiety at any time of day, any day of the week. Imagine not having to wait until your scheduled session to vent, ask questions, get clarification, and celebrate victories. This type of work is a game-changer. Clients progress so much faster with this instant access. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60414f47e7bf1346cc567a66/af491a17-b5d8-4875-8e45-cd70590d1649/Books+Line+Drawingtest.png https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60414f47e7bf1346cc567a66/1628279422695-3Q7BPFV86R4U9Q7VBWGZ/Podcast+Line+Drawing.jpg https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60414f47e7bf1346cc567a66/1618431194473-F9ZICTV5F4V3KRTSSYL9/CIYP+Video+Session.jpg Coach in Your Pocket https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60414f47e7bf1346cc567a66/1628279422695-3Q7BPFV86R4U9Q7VBWGZ/Podcast+Line+Drawing.jpg https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/60414f47e7bf1346cc567a66/af491a17-b5d8-4875-8e45-cd70590d1649/Books+Line+Drawingtest.png https://www.nancyjanesmith.com/media daily 0.75 2022-04-05 https://www.nancyjanesmith.com/holidays daily 0.75 2022-11-14 https://www.nancyjanesmith.com/values daily 0.75 2021-11-08 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